Saturday, December 26, 2009

just venting...

I just don't get it....I KNOW I didn't do anything wrong, so it CAN'T be me, so what the hell is it?!  What makes it worse is it's the holidays, Christmas at that, and I have to feel like this...it's the worst!  How dare you?! And I thought this was LOVE! Love has hurt me MANY times and I swore that I would NEVER let myself be hurt by it again, YOU promised that you would never hurt me like this again, but my heart IS hurting and I can't take it.  When things go bad, ANYTIME, we're supposed to be there for each other, we're supposed to be able to call on each other and just TALK, not take time to ourselves & go into "silent mode", because we're supposed to be in this together...all I feel now, is that you're pushing me away, further & further, for NO REASON!  I kinda had a feeling that if we took it to that "level" SOMETHING would change, I didn't want to think it, but it was in the back of my head, just a tiny corner.  If you don't want to be with me, if you're not ready for what the future has for our relationship, and I do see nothing but good, let me know.  I don't know how else you want me to say it, what else you think I need to do, but we're grown and I feel like I'm playing kiddie games.  I DO love you with ALL of my heart, and I STILL think that you're the scared one and you think that YOU'LL get hurt again...well I'm not going to hurt you, I care for you and I know that you love me too! So PLEASE talk to me and quit this foolishness, it makes NO sense....and YES I'm talking to YOU!


5 comments:

Supastarrr said...

aww I hope everything works out mama!

Darling Nikky said...

lol! girl i feel u, i lost another one to the winter time...

pennanddpaper said...

aww mann; thass awful !

i hope you feel better. ) :

Adrienne S. said...

Wow, girl. I have made this same speech in my head many times before. I don't want to pry but the situation can be one of two things. First, men have their silent moments when they're frustrated and need to think things through that may have nothing to do with you. Sometimes we just need to back off and let them come to us.

Or there's the second scenario... Has he ignored you entirely? Was it during Christmas? For days on end? That is not acceptable. I'm assuming he's done this before which means you already know how this is going to play out. He'll be distant and then when it's convenient for him, he'll come right back. Pure selfishness. And if you take him back, he'll do it again because your actions say it's ok.

Maya Angelou said it best: "When people show you who they are, believe them." Make no excuses for him, not the fear of getting hurt, nothing. One more thing, your intuition knows what you should do, so do it. Sometimes we stay in relationships past their expiration date.

This is just my two cents, take it or leave it... I've been there, felt that, and glad I know better now. I'd rather be single than deal with foolishness. You deserve the best!

T-Charry said...

so....things are a LITTLE bit better, it turns out that it wasn't ALL me, not even 95% me, it was family drama which is what I figured...but it just sucks to be so distant from him mentally & physically, I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY!

BUT things will be OK, and I'm just gonna pray over it and put it in HIS hands!

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